Love Me Badly

Before I start, this post is to be about the Sexual Love. I'll later describe the Love Triangular Formula, which isn't covered or talked about in this post.

Okay so today, i am going to be posting about a thing called LOVE. What is love? This is the definition provided by Google Search Engine.

1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

So all in all, love is said to be the purest of feeling. BUT IS IT? As a cynic, deep in my mind i always have a counter statement that denies these things you called a perfection, A true desire in life. The purpose of life itself. Love to me, and only me, which I don't care what's your point of view; is a~

... ancient, primitive instinct of not wanting to be alone.

This instinct is so powerful that man are able to thrive while other species were driven to extinction. The need to reproduce. Deeply engraved in our DNA to serve our purpose on planet earth. To reproduce and thrive. Just that. Just like an animal. But because of our ability to reason, we put a reasoning to make it sound so special, so affectionate when truly,deeply in your heart you just want a fuck. How badly we want to fuck? As badly as how stupid you seen a guy become when desperately trying to get the attention of the girl.

As badly as we lie. Yes, lie. Not to anyone. But to ourselves. Self deception. Google it. Most won't take what I'm saying. Heck, my mom would be outraged if she knows about this. But think. Why did you love your counterparts?

Have i been betrayed so badly that i hated mankind? No, I haven't. But from the materials all around me, i came with a conclusion.

The one? Soul mate?  No, those doesn't exist. In fairy tale maybe, in real world, FUCK NO.

In the end, we're all just a selfish being. Love, said to be the purest of feeling, the meaning of life included. Cynically, we love someone, ANYONE for we does not want to be lonely.

 

 

My WILD Experience

Before you're getting any wrong ideas, do know I'm not a big fan of social gathering or anythings. That just totally goes the wrong spectrum of an introvert I am. The WILD I am talking about is; as put by Wikipedia as below; plus the quotes.

Wake-Initiated Lucid Dreams (WILD)

The wake-initiated lucid dream occurs when "the sleeper enters REM sleep with unbroken self-awareness directly from the waking state".^[30] There are many techniques aimed at entering a WILD. The key to these techniques is recognizing the hypnagogic stage, which is within the border of being awake and being asleep. If a person is successful in staying aware while this stage occurs, that person will eventually enter the dream state while being fully aware that it is a dream.
There are key times when this state is best entered. It is relatively easy after sleeping for 3–7 hours or in the afternoon during a nap. Techniques for inducing WILDs abound. Dreamers may count, envision themselves climbing or descending stairs, chant to themselves, control their breathing, count their breaths to keep their thoughts from drifting, concentrate on relaxing their body from their toes to their head, or allow images to flow through their "mind's eye" and envision themselves jumping into the image to maintain concentration and keep their mind awake, while still being calm enough to let their bodies sleep.
During the actual transition into the dream state, dreamers are likely to experience sleep paralysis, including rapid vibrations,^[20] a sequence of loud sounds, and a feeling of twirling into another state of body awareness, or of "drifting off into another dimension", or like passing the interface between water into air, face front, body first, or the gradual sharpening and becoming "real" of images or scenes they are thinking of and trying to visualize gradually, which they can actually "see", instead of the indefinite sensations they feel when trying to imagine something while wide awake.

That being said, this is my WILD story.

It all starts when I'm fine-tuning my consciousness to a certain level so that i may fall asleep. To enter a dream world, your consciousness have to have a certain energy, feel to walk through the dimension gap between the reality world and the dream world.
It can't be expressed by mere words, but to me, it's like diluting or concentrating the essence of self; 

Until you feel the gap widening, enough for you to walk through it.  Transcend into it. Melt into the surrounding. And the transcendence state is just like walking into a surrounding of a new density, you can feel the friction, as if you're getting through a space to walk between dimensions, just like you're walking into the  Jell-O in the Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs movie.

When things you thought of start to feel alive, started to breath. They started to do things according to the first original thoughts you put them into. You can just feel your thoughts breathing, started to move on their own. It's as if, you become god. All your thoughts become a creature, able to think for themselves, able to move accordingly. It's like what you're drawing started to jump around. The picture turned into an animation.

It's as if you're thinking about fish, when suddenly you can see them started swimming around. (When you thinks ONLY of a fish, which could be a dead fish, or a sushi.)

 Like: OMG, it's moving.

Once inside, i am able to manipulate the surrounding consciously. Just like how the Architect in the Inception the movie does his job. Change a bit of this, a bit of that. I am able to add or reduce the population of people in my city; which in the normal state are quite empty. I do not know if it somehow related to my  personality which prefers a more serene surroundings. Also, I am able to fly through the mountains and all the common stuff. I did become a big perv in the dream, fucking every cute girls in my dream, It's a world without consequences you know. Everyone would be an animal.

For an unexplainable reason, i stopped at a wooden house, in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of a tropical jungle and faces a demon. A demon so tiny most would have belittled them. And yet i remembered the quote of " Don't judge a book by its cover", in the fucking dream, in the same time.To fend off the demon terrorizing my home, i consciously picked and quoted ayatul Kursi,whilst closing my eyes. When suddenly i am warped out of my dream by the mysterious sound of a flicking switch.

The world goes from darker to a bit lighter, just like when someone switches on the lamp with your eyelids closed. And when i opened my eyes, my room is just as dark  as when i goes to sleep, since  the lamp are still switched off. So, how did it become a bit lighter, when it's dark all the same?

 

 

Thoughts Of Happiness As a Permanent State

I am moved to post this when i think of a friend of mine who blogged  a true life event which is somewhat devastating to the world. Well, not the WORLD world, just HER world. But still, it's fucked. Such is the synopsis :

Her friend is marrying a guy as soon as possible cause there's a bitch keep seducing her future-to-be-ex-husband.

The link is here, CLICK Away

WARNING:
It's in Malay for those who's not familiar with our mother tongue. (More like mother finger. )


 So, what went wrong? Nothing except now she's filing a divorce while being pregnant cause she finds out her husband has already eloped with the bitch. Skanky bitch FTW.

And now, did you see what went wrong. Let's start slowly.

1. Marriage is the happy ending.

2. That's it.

So, as the title said, this is the piece of advice i wrote; which i have geniusly saved earlier cause i knew i am going to need this. In her case, she thought of marriage as a happy ending. It's just a fucking prelude. Use this piece of advice on yourselves or your loved ones when you faces some hardship, or when you're about to make some of the nastiest decision you ever thought of.

 

Happiness isn't an eternal state. There IS NO HAPPY ENDING. You don't go on a vacation for 3 days 2 nights to find true happiness on the last night. The WHOLE vacation is your happiness. The journey towards the ending IS happiness for the ending is only DEATH.

Happiness is a process, the journey. Happiness isn't the grand ball dancing on your wedding. That's only a pit stop. Happiness is a process, a million of little things, every little detail in everyday life always on the flux, ever-changing, never ending cycle repeating over and over again through your lifespan.

Now does happiness seems so hard to be achieved? It might. That’s why happiness is worth it. Nothing is worth its value if it’s so easily given. So now, make your move. Do not see each obstacle as the end of your life. Obstacle is only a corner of a road. If you drive along, you will be just fine. Don't be so lazy as not to steer your car at all. So, drive carefully.  Reach your destination. Live life.

P/S: Oh, and for those who are skeptical of me, do Google this quotes, you won't find a fucking copy cause this all comes from my brain. You, retard.

Be Yourself.

Be yourself. A very good piece of advice said to encourage an open minded sentient being to find the originality in their identity.

But sadly, most of what all of us ever want is just fitting in and sticking out. Most of the time being original is a blasphemy. Try changing your routine and you'll see how much people make fun of your new resolution.

AND HOWEVER brilliant the quote might sound, There are two sides to every coin

And for the dark side.  BE YOURSELF are used by ignorant delusional self to justify their ignorance and selfishness. You can see how people keep saying.

"I can't do that. I am just being me,"

"I can't help it. That's just how i am."

AND ironically, they expect anyone to change to their liking. As if.
If you're one of this person who expect everything in this world to be of your liking, and to remain to be your childish selfish egoistical self, and keep blaming the world for all the your woes, AND KEEP SAYING PEOPLE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND YOU, IT'S THEIR FAULT  by all means, I hate you. You're a fucking perfected human being that doesn't goes the wrong turn.

Please, for the love of god. Do some introspection of your self. Of how you act, of how you respond, of how you're living. It's for the greater good. For world and yourself. You can see how much you would have change if you remember the facts that SOMETIMES you're one to blame too.

Scientist quotes of humans brain being plastic. And that means. Anything... any habit of yours, any obnoxious narcissistic personality and thinking in your brain can be altered through out your lifetimes. Limitless. The only thing left is your guts. And your will to change. NOT to be popular nor likable. But to be a better person.

Oh. And mind you, just wearing emos apparel doesn't count as being yourself. It's just an ancient instinct in your social animal brain to FIT IN and STICK OUT the easiest way. By altering your facade and not your temple. With times this facade will become old and unpopular, and that's when you'll continue to be drifted away in this vicious circle of fooling yourself.

SUCH AS: Emos And

Douchebag.

De Orbis Terranum in Exitium

"WtF does dat even mean?" "oO~ he's being snobbish"
"i bet he didn't even know wat the fuk dat words mean."

Am i being negative here? Oh judgmental eyes. That's just precisely why i hate humans. Me included. When we see others doing it; Ohh its so clear he's being a fucktard. BUT IF IT's you who're doing it, you'll be completely oblivious and blinded by your ego, by your reasoning, by your ego and by your ego. I know. Since i too am human, practicing it AND LOVING IT. Have you realized how fucked up we are by now?

OK now~ enough wif the ranting. Here's the post. De Orbis Terranum in Exitium is a word derived from Latin prefix. Sounds hot right, mi amor. ...and, that's Spanish.

Why do i use these Latin words? I don't know. There's just so many reason. Just to act cool and sound tough i think. OR Maybe it's because the words are used in Latin biblia. Or maybe cause i played Ragnarok Online and i think the priest skills have hella good name. Sounds classic, mythical and powerful. I haven't quite figure it out yet.

THE MEANING of the word De Orbis Terranum in Exitium is The World in Destruction. UNLESS you're an atheist, which doesn't believe in the existence of god OR as quoted here:

The belief that there was nothing and nothing happen to nothing and then nothing magically exploded for no reason, creating everything and then a bunch of everything magically rearranged itself for no reason what so ever into self-replicating bits which then turned into dinosaurs. Makes perfect sense.

Anyways, enough about our beliefs. In this space; I will not talk as a Muslim, but as a human being. A completely conscious and aware human being where despite the hatred to humans, a bit of my heart still wants humanity to thrive. You know taking sides would cause you to lose or earn favors? I'M SIDING WITH HUMAN. As long as you're human, we're all friends. Yay.

As for the WORLD IN DESTRUCTION. See this picture below? Brave New World is a novel by Aldous Huxley, written in 1931 and published in 1932. Tell me if you see no truth in these masterpieces, thoughts from 78 years ago. This is us. THIS IS HUMAN.
The end is nigh.

My blog

Welcome to my humble yet grandiose blog. This is a little space in the internet where i spew my nonsense and my hatred to human species [kill.all.human] though i does not hate humanity. You can despise the host; yet you love what's inside of them. Ain't that weird? Yea, I'm weird.

LET ME TELL YOU A BORING STORY

Through my university life, I've led quite a boring one, since I'm apathetic and frankly my dear, i don't give a damn. But somehow now, I've begun to give a damn, and goddamit, it's a lot harder than not giving a damn. You've got your reputation to look on, your public image and so on. BlaBlaBlaBlaBlaBla...........................

At the university, I'm somewhat a quiet guy; when i look it up in the internet, turns out I'm a genius. An introverted genius in that if you might say. Now i started to give a damn, the world just started to be colored. My world. There's a happy color, and some fucked up colors too. Well, a fully colored book is much more colorful than an empty one. So, I started coloring. Recently. This too is some of my colors. Somewhere dark along the color spectrum if you might say.


Ooh. About the quiet, apathetic guy which defines a loser; turns out I'm not so good in social interaction, but in this space;In my head; And infinite time i have for thinking. But in this space it's like Usher's Oh My GOoooooooD~~~. I changed. Looks like my hand can handle more talking than my mouth does. Good for me.

And given the theory of
Normal Guy + Audience + Anonymous = Complete Fucktard
I guess the same theory; applied to me equals to awesomeness.
(Thanks How I Met Your Mother)
(wtf man, lemme praise myself abit will ya? It's my own little piece of world u know)

Welcome anyhow. This blog is one where I'll be tuning my writing skills to the max. Where I'll do my thinking.  Where I'll be bitching. And guess what, someone i despise gives me the idea to create this blog. I love the idea, yet i hate him. Life's a bitch ain't it? How come I hate him and love the idea? Well, fuck that. I'm not going to be all emotional, teary mary here..OR, should I?

O.. and i love music. Oasis - Whatever will be my theme song. So, yay me. I need some feedback to improve.Do spew your shit on me. I don't care. Or do I? Unfortunately, since i've started to give a damn, yeh, i do care. So please,as a feedback give me some comforting lies than a stone cold truth. That's sarcasm if you didn't get what I mean.